“The story you tell yourself is not your reality, it's just a story”

Have you tried challenging your worrisome thoughts only to find that they keep coming back?

In traditional CBT we are taught to challenge our thoughts. Sometimes this is useful, but if it's not working for you then you might want to consider Defusion exercises from Acceptance & Commitment Therapy.

What is Defusion for worry?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) teaches us that instead of trying to fight against or control our thoughts or worries, we can change our relationship with them. Our thoughts are not necessarily the problem; it's the way we relate to them that can cause distress.

For instance, if someone has the thought, "What if my mum dies" and becomes fused with it, believing it to be true and letting it affect their behaviour, they might become over protective and constantly check up on their mum. They will feel a heightened sense of sadness or anxiety.

When we become fused to our thoughts, we give them power over our lives. However, by practicing Defusion, we can learn to view our thoughts or worries more objectively, recognising that they are merely passing mental events rather than absolute truths. By doing so, we can release the hold they have over us and focus on our broader experience in the present moment.

So, if you find yourself feeling weighed down by anxious or worrying thoughts, try shifting your relationship to them through the practice of Defusion.

Defusion definition

Defusion creates distance between ourselves and our internal experiences such as thoughts and worries. It is a skill that allows us to detach and separate from these experiences so that they don't control what we do.

Defusion is (Russ Harris; ACT Made Simple (2009)):

• Looking at thoughts rather than from thoughts

• Noticing thoughts rather than becoming caught up in thoughts

• Letting thoughts come and go rather than holding on to them

Why learn to Defuse?

Many people struggle with anxiety, worry, and other negative emotions simply because they get caught up in them. They take their thoughts and feelings very seriously, believing them to be accurate reflections of reality. This can lead to a cycle of rumination and worry that can be very difficult to break.

However, by learning to defuse from these thoughts and emotions, individuals can develop a different relationship to them. Instead of seeing them as absolute truths, they can start to see them as passing experiences that come and go. This can take the sting out of negative thoughts and emotions, and help people become more comfortable with the idea that they don't have to be perfect or have everything figured out.

Join me in this exercise if you are still unsure...

The "Hand & Thoughts" exercise isn't about trying to eliminate troublesome thoughts altogether. We don't want to waste valuable energy battling or disproving them. Rather, we aim to create a sense of separation from our thoughts, allowing us to continue engaging with the world around us despite their presence.

It's essential to recognise that our thoughts and worries persist, but through this exercise, we can distance ourselves from them effectively so that they don't control us. Try to take a step back and allow your worrisome thoughts to exist without disrupting our daily lives.

Aim of Defusion

Defusion is a powerful tool that helps you distance yourself from inner experiences such as thoughts, beliefs, and memories. It aims to reduce the influence of negative thoughts on your behaviour. By using Defusion techniques, you can choose how much attention you give to certain thoughts.

• As you practice Defusion, it becomes easier to ask yourself important questions like:

• Is holding onto this thought/belief helping me?

• Is it causing me undue suffering or keeping me from being effective?

• Am I letting my thoughts control me?

These inquiries help increase psychological flexibility and improve anxiety and worry.

At its core, Defusion is about understanding what works for your in your life and choosing to take action based on your values. This approach supports living a meaningful and fulfilling life by focusing on what's effective, rather than on what is true alone.

Defusion Exercises

Defusion techniques are hard at first, but with practice they will become easier. Remember that we are not trying to change our thoughts or convince ourselves that it will be OK. We are simply allowing our thoughts to come and go so that they don't direct our behaviour.

Just Noticing

This involves acknowledging your thoughts objectively by saying, "I notice I'm having the thought of...". For example, if you are worrying about everything going wrong you would say to yourself "I notice I am having the thought that this will all go wrong". Notice how it feels when you add in the noticing part.

Name the Story

Think about some common themes that your mind will say that distresses you. Give them a name and then label them when they show up. For example if you often worry about what other people think about you, then label the story "mind-reading".

Every time your mind goes down this track, say to yourself "oh, there goes my mind again with the same old, mind reading story".

Silly Voices

Repeating your difficult thoughts aloud with humour can be powerful. Use a silly voice or the voice of a comedic cartoon character. For example, if you are having the thought that you are a failure, imagine it is coming from Homer Simpson. If Homer Simpson shadowed your every move and constantly berated you with feelings of inadequacy, how long before you would get bored?

Who can benefit from Defusion?

If you struggle with High Functioning anxiety and have lots of worries, doubts and negative thoughts then Defusion can help. If you would describe yourself as an over thinker or a worrier then Defusion is for you. However ACT is a trans-diagnostic model so it can be of huge benefit for a wide variety of difficulties.

If you want to dive deeper into Defusion for anxiety and worry apply for 1:1 therapy here.